Run with me in my perpetual haste. Meander with me in my devious course. Wander with me in my desperate search. Slalom with me through my discordant vacillation. Wade with me through my hopeless misery. Sink with me in my unrequited love. Spin with me in my eddying emotion. Cruise with me through my youthful fantasy. Flow with me in my surging spontaneity. Swim with me in my divine euphony. Float with me in my phantasmal heaven. Whirl with me in my fragile bubble. Fly with me as I escape reality
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
An undesired low
Yes, you guessed it right. This space is a chronicle. A memoir written in blood, of endless moments of gut-wrenching pain, of unshed tears and muffled cries, of unanswered prayers and punishing blows. Today I will tell you about rejection.
Rejection, no matter how well deserved, is hard to swallow. It eats away at self-esteem like termites devour wood, almost imperceptibly but with the single goal to destroy. "Why me?" you cry. Everything seems impossibly hinged to the unforthcoming answer. You sink in your own eyes. And in the eyes of everyone else, it seems. Your flailing hands cause not a tiny flutter. The ether remains undisturbed. Your pleading eyes invite no sympathy. The world goes merrily on its way, its wheels well-oiled, its course unaltered.
In good times the cynic comes to the rescue. You laugh at the world and skip on. At other times you decide you were pursuing sour grapes after all. You haughtily turn and walk away. You know it is the worst time when all you want to do is curl up and die. No skip left in your step. No pride left in your heart. All you have left is your deflated self, crushed and discarded.